So we've all heard various theories for successful dating relationships & marriages. One theory says a couple will have a happy relationship if they have a lot in common. The obvious belief is there is a shared oneness. Many soulmate concepts seems to be based on this shared oneness & understanding.
On the flipside, a troubled relationship is one where there is little in common. One of my friends shared with me how rocky his relationship with his girlfriend has been, apparently due in part to their lack of shared activities/interests. So in search of something they are trying. Another friend tells me his on-again/off-again/back on-again relationship is strained by the long-distance and lack of time together.
Last night I arrived early for class and observed the married folks in the Intermediate Waltz. There was something magical about the missteps and the gentle laughters as well as the victories I saw [1]. I just kept thinking that would be really nice if I was in that situation. Then I remembered a friend in the past persistently tried to match me up with someone with also a dance interest, but I also remembered I didn't have much else in common with that person. I also wondered why my friend only focused on the dancing interest when there were and are deeper passions that I have and the other person didn't share. (Other friends have committed similar dissimilar match-ups.) Now after my recent dance classes, tennis games, and conversations with dating/married friends I'm wondering about all this common ground stuff. In the hypothetical married situation, I can call up friends to play tennis if she doesn't want to play but if she doesn't want to dance, well, I guess I don't dance, right?
And oh, recently an older colleague of mine
told me he and wife got into Tango dancing after many failed attempts
at finding a shared activity. They've been dancing regularly every
weekend. Other friends share in a love for videogames. In the past we
had a bunch of wives/gfs who joined their husbands/bfs and I for
rollerhockey. Now I've heard of a couple that shares an interest in the shooting range! [Some brothers are so blessed!
]
Now some couples share in their love for food and for certain television programs. With food we all have to eat and for Americans, television is a big thing for people, so they both take relatively little effort to accomplish. Let's look outside of those things: What do you couples out there like to do together? How important are those things? Are there significant outside interests apart from each other? Were there certain interests that were non-negotiables in your dating life? Did you give up any of your past interests?
Well, going back to my earlier hypothetical. Dancing isn't a requirement; practically speaking it obviously is not something many people learn to do (of course, I'm still learning myself). If I don't dance, I don't dance. I'll miss it, of course, but hopefully there will be other things to make up for it. (On the other hand, most women I've met want to learn, so my odds look pretty good that I'll be doing some kind of dancing.) However, I'm hoping it is obvious what my great passion is and I prayerfully looking forward to sharing in that.
[1] No guarantees that dance lessons will be harmonious. Some time ago in my Waltz & Slow Blues classes [2] I remember watching an older married couple fight during the lessons. They were having such a hard time learning they were visibly upset with one another! My instructors were at a loss as to what to do.
[2] I sadly don't remember a thing in Waltz & Slow Blues except for the fact at how much fun they were. When we were on target, my followers loved the spins!
Ladies: Want to encourage a guy into an ego-trip, tell him he's a great dancer, or at least let your smile show it. 
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